breathe

wrapped up in a sea of emotions.

a sea of unpredictable waves.

some big.

some little.

all that fall between

there's a break in the chaos.

something doesn’t feel right.

you can’t get a read on the water.

everything seems to be foreign.

yet nothing has changed.

there have always been these waves.

you have always been yourself.

this makes you sick.

you are confused.

what are you to do.

you feel trapped.

you know where you’d like to be.

you know you can guide yourself to safety.

but you’re in to deep.

you take in air just as a wave crashes down on you.

you’re sucked down under.

thrashed by the undercurrents.

your last breath is forced out of you.

you take in water.

you start to drown.

but how.

you know how to swim.

you know not to panic.

you know that there is a way out of this.

you muster up enough energy and manage to surface.

just to be impaled by another wave.

do you give up.

do you let go.

do you just let things happen.

how bad could it be.

things can’t go on like this forever.

suffering is only temporary right.

less suffering is bound to be on the horizon.

should you push and try to surface again.

what’s the worst that can happen.

either way you’re destine for relief.

one involves trying and the other giving up.

nothing truly comes free.

what will giving up cost you.

you realize that your issue lies with your lack of control.

that’s okay.

it’s okay to go with the flow.

you just have to do so in a conscious way.

anticipating what is to come.

learning from the situation but not overthinking.

don’t let the suffering get the best of you.

find something that works.

surface and breathe.

short and slow.

kevinjroy. 2021.